Sunday, December 31, 2006

Viva La Resolution!

It's almost game time, but I realized I forgot to post my New Years Resolutions. Here they are:

- Finally gonna figure out that whole "Half the distance to the goal" thing. I mean, when do we use it, when do we not. I still don't REALLY get it.

- Invent a new Burger. This has been my resolution for the past... probably 25 years. It has lead me to the creation of: The All-Ketchup Burger (dehydrated tomato paste goes a long way), the DrewBurger (four all beef patties on a sesame seed patty), the Weightless SphereBurger (which turned out to be just a levitating meatball), the Buffalo Burger (put a piece of bread on top of a Buffalo, and another one on the bottom of the buffalo, deep fry it and enjoy) and of course next year the Philly Chili Cheese Bang.

- Start a poetry blog. I think people will probably get really into it. And it'll give me something to do in the off-season.

- No more guessing when I can't help my son Stuart out with math homework. Most adults have pretty much forgotten their times tables by now, and I am no exception. It's time for me to 'fess up instead of blindly saying "64. That one is 64, too. Pretty sure its 64." I mean, let's get reasonable here, it's rarely 64. I shoulda chosen a more popular answer like.. 26? Isn't that 4 x 6? Anyway, he's getting a D+ in math and I feel partly responsible. No more.

- "Turf Toe." That's another thing I don't really know... 14 seasons in, I don't know "Turf Toe" and I don't know "Half the Distance to the Goal." Isn't that kind of endearing!?

- And lastly, no more quoting Borat and no more pranks on Tony Romo ............. NOT!!!!!!!

All right, be back later tonight after we lose to the worst team in the NFL at home.

Happy New Years Everybody!


Blogger New Texan said...

nice call drew!

5:03 PM  
Blogger Liquid Egg Product said...

Mr. Homo fumbled 4 times. 4 times!

He also through a pick. (thanks for that spelling tip, BTW)

6:52 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I heard tony homo never graduated college.

7:44 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

You have no idea how sweet it is that you invented that nickname Drew. Now I can gleefully refer to the QB of my hated rival Cowboys as "Homo" without it just being an epithet. We need you in Washington Drew! Nice call on today's game, by the way. Only a matter of time...

7:54 PM  
Blogger Funkhouser's Golf Tip said...

did you see that tofu sucking rookie totally give it up today? i mean it'd be bad enuff to lose to the Redskins, but he Lions?! I think you could have let a kicker come in at QB and done better. I bet coach is rethinking not taking your advice on the crapper now!

on a serious note, where can I get a pre-release Philly Chili Cheese Bang? that just sounds awesome.

8:34 PM  
Blogger Nate said...

seriously! Bring Drew to Washington.

Cry-baby Snyder has got to be willing to pay at least 12 million a year for ya, Drew!

9:30 PM  
Blogger Replicant said...

Drew, why so glum on the sidelines? Can't you at least enjoy the fact that JP Losman failed, Romo is failing, and Tom Brady was dumped by his girlfriend? Cheer up! There is still a chance for vegetarian noodle arm Romo to get hurt.

2:31 AM  
Blogger Papa said...

Good God man! I'm looking forward to more good work from you in 2007.

I forgot my username

11:02 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

The Cowboys are 3-2 when Homo attempts 2 passes or less. That means they win 60% of the time.

The Cowboys are 6-5 when Homo attempts more than 2 passes. Here they only win 54% of the time.

If you extrapolated Homo's win % over the 16 game season the Cowboys go 8.7-7.3. Next round that down, and suddenly the Cowboys only have 8 wins. Since Dallas would lose the tiebreakers to GB and NYG, it's pretty easy to show that Homo would have missed the playoffs.

Not to mention if we ignore the wins over Indy and NYG, Homo went 0-3 against playoff teams. While Drew on the other hand has 2 superbowl appearances and one win. I know who I'd be starting if I were Parcells.

12:20 PM  
Blogger 32feet said...


7:04 PM  
Blogger Chairman Meow said...

Is OSU's Troy Smith the next Drew Bledsoe? You decide from his pre-National Championship press conferernce yesterday:

Asked about his familiarity with the Phoenix area on his fourth bowl trip here in the last five years, the Heisman Trophy winner launched into a passionate description of his appreciation of In-N-Out Burger, a chain of 203 fast-food restaurants located only in Arizona, Nevada and primarily California.

"For the folks back in Ohio, they need to understand first and foremost, it is a fresh burger," Smith said, breaking down the burger like he breaks down a defense. "The lettuce and tomatoes are extremely fresh. And they toast the buns. That's huge. That's key. They use a special kind of sauce, too. The sandwich is incredible after a long night."

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You show yourself to be the classless person we all knew you to be. You are not now, nor have you ever been, a really great QB.
You are not now even good enough to play. No team is going to want you. You bash Romo, well, he is way better than you were in your first season, and oh by the way, also in your last. Adam wants you in Washington. I would like that also. But of course, they won't hire you. But hey, it'd be great for you to play for a team that the Cowboys have to beat!

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahaha this is funny My family hate me cause I call Romo a Homo

and I yell alot Call upon Drew

9:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does everyone hate him so much. The guy is living the american dream, doesnt claim to be the best, and is just doing the best he can. There is guys like Leaf who was draft high, and sucked so bad.

Just not sure why all the hate.

Tony Romo Fan


12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


4:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hate ....ommmmmmmmm the only thing one should hate is peanut butter mustard and mayo on toach .

4:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

happy new year d oh and happy birthday soon to be mustard peanut and mayo for you hehehehe
cher rullie proud of you

4:53 PM  
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11:45 PM  

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