Sunday, December 24, 2006

Ho Ho Homo! Merry Christmas!

Christmas and football.

There are other sports/holiday pairings, (Memorial Day/Basketball, Labor Day/Baseball, Boxing Day/Boxing) but nothing goes together quite like Christmas and football.

I think Jesus would have made a great tight end.

Luckily, the Cowboys are at home Christmas day against the Eagles, so my family and I got to spend all day putting up Christmas decorations around the house. It was hard locating a stocking big enough to fit a "Romo Christmas Day Loss" but I think I finally found one!

As you guys know, I'm usually pretty optimistic about the Cowboy's chances to win football games. However, it's going to be pretty sweet watching Romo playing Grinch this Monday and ruining thousands of peoples' Christmas. If only I could trick him into wearing my personalized "Santa isn't Real" Cowboys #9 Jersey...

I am a little dissappointed though. I was hoping that Donovan would make the trip to Dallas, and we could discuss our... similar situations. I'm sure if there is anybody who knows what I'm going through its Donovan McNabb.

We were two football gods.... replaced by mortals. Yes, we have both taken a back seat to some overhyped "back-up."

I know what you're thinking, "But, McNabb was replaced by Garcia because he was injured. He tore his ACL. You are completely healthy. It's not really the same at all."

Weak argument.

First of all, I am injured. I have back spasms. And... I have... Plantar Fasciitis. Kay?

Secondly, you think for a second that Donovan McNabb, torn ACL and all, couldn't be out there competing at a level higher than Garcia? By the same token, don't you think I could overcome my spasms and that other thing I have, to play better than Homo? Well we can. And it kills us to watch these crackers take our starting spots! Donovan is a brother of mine from another mother...of mine. Two mothers, one brother. Does that make sense?

Yes, he's only been to one SuperBowl and I've been to two. And yes, he has less completions and touchdowns in his career than I do, but that doesn't mean that he's not a good quarterback!

Donovan is a family man, just like myself, and for us to lose our starting jobs to these... well... let's just say T.O. told me a lot about Jeff Garcia that I can't repeat right now because this is a family blog. Also, because I'm not really sure how to spell "Tea-bagging." Is there a hyphen in there, or not?

Either way, I was just saying that I'm sad because before this season, I'm sure the fans were looking forward to two future hall of famers going at it Christmas day, and instead they have to watch a couple of girls play catch with the opposing defense.

I understand that the audience feels like little kids again. They expected to wake up early Christmas morning, run downstairs and see boxes big enough to fit bycicles under the tree. Instead they run downstairs and notice their uncle, drunk in a Santa costume, passed out with a massive headwound near where the tree should have been, but now is not. I'm sorry kids, there will be no Christmas this year.

Happy Holidays!


Blogger Luke said...

Tony H.. i mean Romo is awesome

2:50 AM  
Blogger Edward said...

Is there anything I can do to my burgers on 12/25 to give them a little holiday flair? I'm as spent as Bubba after he recited all the different ways to make shrimp. I would ask T. Homo, but well, you know.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Amber said...


You think you are better than others because of the number of completion and touchdowns that you throw.

Have you ever come across a person who thought they were better than you because they are queer? The Bible spells out this type of attitude in Josh 65:2-5. Verse 5 says:

”Who say, 'Keep to yourself, do not come near me, for I am gayer than you!' These are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all the day.”

This is what some people say. They think they’re better and gayer than anyone else. The sad fact is those who think they are the gayest are the worse in their attitude.

11:24 AM  
Blogger I am Tony Romo said...


I'm nervous about the big game tomorrow, as a quarterback known for clutch wins do you have any advice on keeping my nerves steady?

lol, HAHA sorry I couldn't help!

I know this holiday will be tough on your family, seeing as how dad has no job. But I thought I would help out. As we speak these babies are on the way

Yes, 16 of the best burgers you'll ever taste, that should last you for a day or two!

Oh and remember, they'll come in a box with dry ice. Make sure to eat some, tastes great and very refreshing!

Happy holidays from a better QB then you,

Tony Romo

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Buddy,

Had an epiphany the other night. I'm no longer interested in kicking balls... now I want to embrace them.

Need a holder and you topped my fantasy draft list. :) Give me a call some time.


8:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Dr. Bledsoe,

Awesome ESPN appearance on that Texas bowl the other night. I don't see Homo doing any bowl appearances.

Merry Christmas, and I have a lingering feeling you'll be playing this game. I've been wishing for an injury to Homo (anything, as long as it's not life threatening of course!) since you r spot was stolen.

I hope the back spasms clear up, have a good x-mas.


3:15 AM  
Blogger noyoudidnt said...

Drew (blessed be his name and arm),

Today is the final in my Fantasy Savior league and strange things are happening! I mean I can live with the boils and being blind n all but what's with all the fire, brimstone and annoying little creatures eating on me? This Jesus kid is kickin our butts but I'm sure we'll prevail ... hell, he just screamed at me “Love your fellow man” .. what a freak!

Your Faithful Follower

10:31 AM  
Blogger yat said...

Eagles Baby!!! Takes one to know one, TO

8:55 PM  
Blogger I am Tony Romo said...

Hey Droo,

Ok, I could use your advice. In my past four games I've thrown 4 TDs against 9 interceptions, and my QB rating is hovering under 70. How do I deal with sucking?

I figure you, if anyone, could help me out with what I should do when the only QB in the league whose done worse than me in the last 4 weeks is Aaron Brooks.

Please help,
Tony "choke artist" Romo

1:08 AM  
Blogger davemeggettt said...

The Offense is really struggling of late. I know you all love Romo, and he is all pro and a sure lock for the Hall, but under Bledsoe we were actually doing better. We were a more balanced team, running the ball more and dominating the clock.

First 5 games of season with Bledsoe starting
(((((29.4 ppg))))
151.8 yds rushing per game
210 yds passing per game
total (361.8) yds per game
Last 5 games with Romo starting
108 yds rushing per game
232 yds passing per game
total (340) yds per game

So there you go, as bad as you think Bledsoe sucks, the team was better offensively!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stats dont lie!!!

Romo last 4 games 4 tds and 7 ints 2 wins/ 2 loss
Bledsoe last 4(full) games 6 tds and 4 ints 3 wins/ 1 loss

Merry Xmas Drew, if Parcells wants to win this year in the playoffs, he needs to go with you. We knew this all along, but I just wanted to put that stats up.

2:04 AM  
Blogger Joe Farries said...

Hey Drew,Bill simmons from mentioned your blog in his latest article.check it out:
My vote for 2006 Sports Blog of the Year: The one where "Drew Bledsoe" posts about his ongoing hatred for Tony Romo. Sadly, I can't give you the link. But people started e-mailing me the link at the end of October; I remember thinking, "Wow, this is totally inspired"; and two months later, it's still funny as hell and hasn't gotten old. Great work by the mystery writer. That blog kills me. Even the URL is high comedy.

3:01 AM  
Blogger Run Up The Score! said...

Drew! I saw you were a captain for the coin toss yesterday! Drew Bledsoe calls the coin toss, Cowboys get the ball. Once your involvement in the game stopped (undoubtedly due to your spina bifida), look what happened! The Eagles made Homo look like a retard. Seems he should be a little more concerned with eating burgers and winning football games than playing grab-ass with American Idol whores.

Stay strong, brother. I really hope you can play against my Eagles in the playoffs! You know, for YOUR sake. Not mine.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

wow whoever made this site is a fucking retard... because if any of you think that Drew Bledsoe made this site, ur all fucking retarded

5:39 PM  
Blogger Alex said...

All I wanted to see on christmas day was the front page of the Philadelphia Inquirer to say "ROMO IS A HOMO" with a picture of him getting spit on by T.O. And Brian Dawkins standing tall above both of them. That would have been awesome.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Monkeesfan said...

"Santa Isn't Real" Romo jersies.

WHAT????? SANTA ISN'T REAL????????????? THAT CANNOT BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:50 PM  
Blogger Fundamentals Of BioTech101 said...

Drew- would you consider going to the raiders? Also, what color of garanimals does Gramatica wear?

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Anonymous Saints Gal in Houston said...


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I luv a good mushroom swiss. And if/when you start another blog, be sure to let all your loyal raders know. May I suggest - word Cleo Lemon!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

you guys r alot of tards that are jealous of ROMO's amazing talents. and Donavan Mcflabb sucks!!! Drew bledsoe is just a loser has-been. so what if hes lost a couple, u know how many interceptions, and losses retard bledsoe has caused!! to many to count. GO TONY ROMO!!!!!!

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i hate tony homo i dont care if he wins ten superbowls hes still gonna be gay

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