Monday, November 06, 2006

I hate to say I told you so...

You always hate it when your team loses. No question. It's the worst feeling in the world. It's just this indescribable heaviness that you feel, that you not only let the other 52 people in the lockerroom down, but millions of fans world-wide. It's just the absolute worst...

...that being said, I've never been so happy in my entire life! I told you guys we would suck! Yes, my prediction was 52-7 but a loss is a loss. Oh, man it feels so great to have people finally come to grips with how bad Homo is at quarterback. Sure, the bad news is, we lost the game, as I predicted. But the great news is, you are now reading the blog of STARTING quarterback Drew Bledsoe!

Coach hasn't made the official change yet, but it's pretty obvious it's coming. I mean, in this business, you have to show results, and when you're putting up losses against the lowly Redskins, that's just not gonna cut it. And I reminded Homo of that every time he came off the field I mouthed to him "this isn't gonna cut it." Whether or not he was looking at me was up to him.

Let's take a look at Homo's numbers, but remember, nothing is as important as that LOSS he put up: He had 12 incompletions (one during a two point conversion), sacked twice, and one rush for one yard. Let me repeat that: ONE RUSH, for ONE YARD. So I guess when people call him a "Mobile Quarterback" they just mean the city in Alabama where he's from?

Here are my numbers against Washington, in week 2: 19 completions, 237 yards, two touchdowns, and more importantly WE WON THE GAME!

Some great behind the scenes moments included Romo throwing his helmet to the floor in frustration after our second drive in which we amassed four yards of total offense. I said, "Hey, the endzone is that way, and that's a helmet, not a football. And you're supposed to spike it AFTER you score a touchdown! Homo." Nobody got it. But I thought it was pretty funny.

And then, after Homo's errant pass was actually hauled in by TO for a touchdown, Homo had the gall to celebrate. Running towards the sidelines with that big loser grin on his face. He went to high five me but I just ignored him and said "I don't wanna get shitty quarterback cooties." The look on his face woulda been priceless if he didnt just keep running past me and celebrated with the quarterback coach and our offensive line.

As Washington's winning field goal was kicked, and coach ran towards midfield to congratulate Joe Gibbs, I was sorta running after him yelling "I accept! I accept!" assuming he would turn around and offer me my starting job back, or at least the game ball. He didn't do either, which I thought was pretty thoughtful of him considering Homo was not too far away, and he may have heard us.

Today is Monday, and we don't have practice, but I think I'm gonna take the day to study tape of the Arizona Cardinals. Practice on Tuesday is gonna be great. I said it was fun practicing with the second team, but I was mostly lying to myself so I could keep from completely losing it.

It feels so good to be back.

PS - did anybody take my fantasy advice and start Washington's D? I bet you were sitting pretty with that nice Safety in the first quarter! Did you drop Homo yet?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree, Drew. You probably would have handily won, somewhere along the lines of 61-3 if you were starting.

I was looking at Homo's Wikipedia page, and it says he's an amateur golfer.. do you play any sports away from the bench? <-- should be field :(

6:09 AM  
Blogger Internet Creatures said...

Jay Mariotti is really going to beg for you to come to Chicago after that loss to the Dolphins.

9:52 AM  
Blogger M. said...

Yeah Drew, I'm guessing the announcement that you're starting again comes today or tomorrow, it has to. You also forgot to mention that deep ball that T.O. "dropped". We all know Romo just didn't put enough mustard on it and the media just loves to villify T.O. Plus, Romo's got everyone so brainwashed that he's actually good that T.O. even apologized for the "drop". Haha, drop, I can't even type that without laughing. Romo is such a prick.
Burgers at my place on Thursday Drew.

11:18 AM  
Blogger williamclinton said...

Good seeing you over the weekend in DC. Those burgers I grilled were money, huh? I know it. Hey, I hope you enjoyed the cigars, too. Those were just a little something I concocted with my intern and weed dealer. Good see you're back in the sattle in big D. Romo has big ears.

The Pres

2:23 PM  
Blogger Steve Pelleur said...

Excellent news Drew. I wonder if you being back in the line up means the Bledsoe jerseys will no longer be 33% off at Godspeed little buddy.

3:04 PM  
Blogger Steve Walsh said...

I know how you feel, Drew. I remember when that queer Troy Aikens took my job back in 1989. Oh what could/should have been. F Jimmy Johnson.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Zorgon said...

Don't worry, dude. I dropped Tony Homo long ago. I now start the much better Andrew Walter, and I have you sitting at bay on my bench, to definately start against the Cardinals next week.

Good Luck against Arizona, man! I've followed you since New England and am eagerly anticipating that Super Bowl (that Brady won't steal from you)!

-Zeb, Oklahoma City

5:51 PM  
Blogger Toph said...

it's simple, drew. The nfl is too small for you. why don't lead congress, or america? some people love you. it would be really, really, really awesome. you could then tell Bill that you own him, and outlaw homo's.

6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ouch! They kinda trashed you on MNF Drew!

8:27 PM  
Blogger Drews Man said...

I agree with M. Homo is a pussy who cant throw the ball hard enough to TO. But you would of thrown it perfect.....because YOU are perfect.


10:49 PM  
Blogger Byron L said...

Hey Drew,

I'm there with ya buddy....Homo called Garrard last night crying. Something about mommy or something. I mean come on, Vince Young completed more than Gayrrard did yesterday.

....what a couple of losers

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Anonymous Anonymous said...


Someone needs to make this story a movie. I can see Dane Cook playing you Drew, I can really see him mouthing the following:

''And I reminded Homo of that every time he came off the field I mouthed to him "this isn't gonna cut it."

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Blogger Sheri said...

Your a fucking loser and always have been, you sucked in New England, Buffalo, and know in Dallas. Your choke under pressure, throw a shit load of interceptions and always have a stupid look on your face. Lets face it dude, you smoke cock and your wife is fat too.

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