Thursday, October 26, 2006

Jerry Jones Wants Me to Start

Woke Up. Practiced. Watched Homo suck it up. Spoke to the media. Came home. Whatever.

Oh, funny story: I jacked Mr. Starting Quarterback's iPod today. Every day after practice the starters stick around to talk to coach. For the first time this season, that didn't include me, so I took the opportunity to rummage through pretty boy's locker. Didn't find much, other than a new iPod Mini. So I took it and threw it in the trash. You shoulda seen the looks on all the guys' faces. I was like, their hero.

Marion Barber was all, "Drew, come on man, that ain't right." But deep down inside I know/hope he was cracking up.

Quincy Butler, was like, "Drew, come on. I'll drive you home, you've had a long week." I found that offensive and told him to mind his own fucking business. Then he took the iPod outta the trash. Whatever, his iPod is still gonna smell like garbage.

...though come to think of it, I may have thrown it into the fresh towels bin. Either way he was Punk'd with a capital missing E.

All right, I'm gonna go edit my Wikipedia page. Did you know that I was four units shy of earning a PhD in French? Suckers...

PS - Tony Romo is 3 inches shorter than me, and when I asked 10 girls at a bar after practice today who was better looking, only two of them said him. (Seven said me, and one politely ask that I let go of her.)


Blogger Internet Creatures said...

Mariotti was famously accused for being a homo as well.

Mariotti went nuts.

Nobody in Chicago cared.

the internet creatures

5:51 PM  

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