Sunday, January 07, 2007

Game Over.

This blog was a way for me, Drew Bledsoe, to deal with the 2006 Dallas Cowboys season.

The season is over. And now so is this blog.

If I learned anything from Jerome Bettis, Jerry Seinfeld, and myself, it's that you should always leave them wanting more. Go out on top.

I don't want to be like Tony Romo, and peak early then fizzle out into obscurity and show up at the ProBowl in one month feeling like a 7th grader who crashed a prom knowing that I don't deserve to be there, hanging around all the "grown ups" knowing that everybody thinks that Matt Hasselback or Jon Kitna are better quarterbacks than me and that I cost the Cowboys a chance to advance to the next round because I couldn't hold on to a football, and I smell, and I don't like Burgers.

That's not who I am.

So this will be my last post.

I want to thank everybody who's ever read this blog. You are responsible for this greatness more than I am. Of course, that's not true. The only reason you are here is because I'm a master story teller. I was just being modest.

When I started this blog exactly 75 days ago (maybe, I'm just guesstimating) I had no idea how much of an impact it would have on my life. I just wanted an outlet. A way to share with the world my hilarious, well-articulated thoughts. I realized during the live blog last night that it has become so much more than that. I'm now not just a future hall of fame quarterback, but a future hall of fame author/entertainer as well.

So where do we go from here? Will I be back next year? Did Homo cry like a little girl in the locker room last night? These are questions that have no answers. Except for the Homo crying one. The answer to that is "OH God yes."

That reminds me. One final Homo story for the road:

As Homo sat by his locker, with this head in his hands shivering from sadness, tears rolling off of his elbows and onto his knees, I almost felt bad enough not to mess with him... But I couldn't resist!

I walked up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and said "Hey Buddy. I know how you're feeling. This is probably the low point in your life. You look around and you're surrounded by a room full of people you've disappointed today. It's tough to look any one of us in the eye and say "Thanks for practicing all year long and preparing, but it doesn't matter because I couldn't hold onto a football." As an athlete there is nothing worse than letting your team down. It's hard, I know. It's really hard. But on the plus side I saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geiko. Also -- Did you get my letter? Because I think I forgot to STAMP IT!"

He moved his foot as I went to stomp on it, but I think I got him pretty good otherwise.

Okay, thanks for reading everybody. It's been fun. I'm leaving the comments open, so if you have anything to say, just know that I'll be reading them.

Burgers,
Drew Bledsoe.

PS - Oh right. Almost forgot. I promised these guys I would plug THEIR sports blog. They're pretty good, if you're into like, sports related comedy. I told them most of my readers were just here to read the truth, they weren't here to laugh. Either way, they insisted, so check out StraightCashHomey.net.

TonyHomo.com has been a Straight Cash, Homey! production. For more information about Tony Homo, check out StraightCashHomey.net, right now. Like... RIGHT NOW.

101 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

No more? :(

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bye, Drew. Enjoy Oakland next year.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't ever apply for a columnist position at the Chicago Sun-Times.

You just might steal my job.

Sincerely (and recently unclogged)

Jay Mariotti

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you Drew. In a hetro sort of way.

5:03 PM  
Anonymous Blessed By Drew said...

And so it goes. For the real football fan, the season ends not when they play those meaningless last few playoff games, or the Pro Bowl, or whatever.

It's when Drew isn't putting on his pads anymore.

Don't ever retire, Drew. The NFL was nothing before you came, and it will be nothing after you're gone.

5:05 PM  
Blogger homo_4_romo said...

Thanks for helping me out... I've converted.

Enjoyed your blog. Hate to see it all end.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHAT!?! HUH!?! DReww commeee backkk


what a douche

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Buffalo Bill said...

Drew, I've really enjoyed reading this blog throughout the season. I'll always remember this blog when I'm owning with you as quarterback in madden :)

Thanks for all the laughs, and I'll keep a close eye on ya next season.

Buffalo Bill

5:35 PM  
Anonymous GoCougarsWSU said...

Drew, thanks for the hilarious read for the past 75 days. Enjoyed your Blog, Drew. Keep on blogging. Go SeaHawks and Go Cougs!

-AA

5:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He ends it with a plug, after all this time.

Classy as always, Drew.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew, you gotta stay with the Boys next year, they are definitely gonna need you. Homo was just a flash in the burger pan. Cover him with mayonnaise he is DONE.

Please come back Drew

5:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We both know how lucky you got with this blog. What if the Cowboys had won it all this year?

Entertaining nonetheless.

6:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The blog lives on with the help of www.romosucks.com


Nice job guys

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a sad sad day. I hope to see you back next year so that I can laugh some more about burgers and homo. great job.

6:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

man, i'm really going to miss reading this at work when i'm supposed to be working. maybe one day we can meet up and have some burgers together.

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So this entire blog was a ploy to get us to check out your sports blog? You're not really Drew Bledsoe?

I feel used.

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

im upset to see the blog end, but i wont miss you wearing a star on your helmet. happy trails drew enjoy the demise of your career

6:53 PM  
Anonymous The Awesome said...

Dear Drew:

I'm sorry to hear that you will no longer be posting.

I cried like a man who had no burgers.

Please do the world a favor and keep posting. If you get a columnist job, create a new website please. My suggestion is USATODAYHHOMO.com . Or something similar. You are the cadberry award winner, you figure it out.

Thank you for the laughs, and best of luck getting back on the field: with Homo's performance, I bet you will have no problem.

7:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew - you are my hero. I know that you would have been able to handle that snap....in fact I think your filed goal holding is third best ever behind Danny White of the late 70's and Don Strock of the early 80's. That skill alone should get you to Canton. Have fun in Wyoming and don't forget to not pick up a football until August.

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Burger and Beer Guy said...

Hey Drew, I know this was all about football and such but I need to know where all the good burger places are. I think you need to write a guide for us or me at least, you could use it so you don't forget, well I know you're busy and all, just trying to help out.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

NOOOO! Drew come back!
:(

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm going to miss this blog. I think now that this blog ended, my life has no meaning.

Keep eating burgers Bledsoe. Keep eating.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew...you end the blog with never mentioning how you were an Oscar Award winning movie star in "Jerry Maguire?" I mean, come on, you were that movie. When it first came out I thought it was going to be named after you. Homo can only appear in cheap ass YouTube flicks while you had to make the difficult decision of choosing between pro football or becoming the next Marlon Brando. Maybe you can retire so they can remake every movie ever made with you in the lead.

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew I just found out I can leave a comment without siging up and you f'ing leave me now??? There has to be atleast 32 teams interested in you this offseason and atleast 370 burger joints. Good luck great one (like you need it).

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew, I would really appreciate it if you would just continually alienate every quarterback ahead of you on the depth chart. It would really brighten up my life.

10:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

absolute greatness

10:52 PM  
Blogger Heinemann said...

ill miss you my drew, ill miss you

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Carrie said...

My man will be back next year.

12:12 AM  
Anonymous Tony R. said...

Hey Drew, is your regridgerator running?


























Well you better go catch it.


That'll show him.

12:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew

Thanks for the entertainment the past 75 days. I know we will see you next year. You just can't retire yet!

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Dan said...

Drew, thanks for the fun you put into being a diehard Cowboys hater. Reading this and watching Homo fail miserably was quite a treat.

6:28 AM  
Blogger Donnie said...

Unfortunately, I only started reading the blog a few weeks ago, and it's over so fast...but you're right, Drew, how could the blog end any more perfectly?

Here's to Homo starting next year (sorry, I'm an Eagles fan).

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved your blog. It kept me going at work. I'm so sad to see it go but thanks for all the laughs.

Jill
Chicago, Illinois

8:59 AM  
Blogger johncravennet said...

This blog was great. Great idea and I loved it.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Happy Gilmore said...

knock knock

haha I got you lady that was a good one.

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Drew, have fun with romo in the showers? Too bad ull be seperated next year :(

11:49 AM  
Blogger GreenEgg said...

Hey Drew,
You leave little Homo alone, you big burger-eating bully!

GreenEgg

12:44 PM  
Blogger Monkeesfan said...

Thanks for the great blog, Drew. You still have more playoff wins since Al From Everett's own Tony Homo, Bill Parcells, did the sabotage trick on Bob Kraft after 1996 than Fat Tuna himself has - Fat Tuna's one post-playoff win was in 1998's divisional playoff, whereas you, Drew, beat up Miami in 1997 (bummer for the loss in Pittsburgh that season), then rescued Brady off the bench in Pittsburgh in 2001's Title Game (take that, Cowher!)

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutely f-ing hilarious.

Thanks for all the laughs, definitely made the day go by more quickly.

Good thing we didn't annoit Romo just yet.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Tom Brady said...

Come back to New England. You might just beat me out...

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dallas Cowgirl fans are the worst. When Romo first started everyone was acting like he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Now that he screwed up, he is the worst! I like Drew and I think he is a good QB, but with that offensive line( and I mean OFFENSIVE), Romo did you give the cowgirls the best chance to win. But what do expect with fans the jump on and off the bandwagon as many times as John Kerry votes for and against the war. You all have no backbone. I can't think of a better way for your season to end! I just hope Bill Parcells comes to his senses and gets the hell outta dodge. You all don't deserve him.

1:40 PM  
Blogger romo fan said...

You are truly a piece of shit! How many games as a "VET" did you loose for us in the red zone? This kids a rookie and will be a better QB than you ever where (well anyone that is half ass mobile will be better than you ever were). Hall of Fame.......which team that dumped your ass will you retire under?

At least Romo plays w/ some heart, unlike you, only concerned w/ whether your immobile ass is going to plowed and not trying to make a play for your teammates.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

much like tony romo, the cowboys are gay. Favre4EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you people that incredibly stupid? Obviously this is not Drew Bledsoe's blog. This was written by a couple of guys named Amir and Ethan. So all of you people who are flipping out because this blog antagonizes Tony Romo, you are morons, because this is strictly fictious.

3:09 PM  
Blogger TrueBlueDrewFan said...

The Drew I knew and loved take care and good luck make sure you pick a good team to play for that knows how to block for a change,and have cool jerseys I am running out of room in my closet with all your different jerseys make the last one count bro.Always in your corner.
P.S. if no-one can block for you the right way I will just call me : )

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Tony Romo said...

Asking Cowboy fans "Are you people that incredibly stupid?" is like asking if the Pope is catholic. I mean c'mon, there is a reason why they people from the south are a bit slooowwww.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous DoK said...

This is the funniest thing I've read in many a year. The dialogs with Tuna were priceless (but you didn't comment on his man-boobs looking like burgers ... how disappointing).

Maybe you attend the Pro-Bowl just to report on Our Hero so there's closure? I'm sure they'd let you down on the field.

Here's hoping you start this up again when you get to Oakland ... er Detroit ... er ... Washington DC ... er ... Tampa?

3:38 PM  
Blogger Run Up The Score! said...

Honestly, this blog has been a must-read since it started. Very nice work, gentleman. I mean, Drew.

4:17 PM  
Blogger Run Up The Score! said...

Or gentlemen. Christ.

Burgers forever!

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

im glad we beat the cowboys, but this shit is so funny, i wish youd still post

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Memories, as that's all that's left.. What a Butter Finger hmmmm almost as good as a burger..

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew, they need you in Green Bay! After that wuss Favre calls it quits--and God please let him put us all out of his misery--they'll need a big strong hetero hero like you up there! And crap, wouldn't that chafe Homo's gay butt, if you play for his home-town, cheese-smelling team??!!

4:39 PM  
Blogger Robert Kraft said...

Drew! Please come back. I will tell the world why you left the pats; we didn’t have enough triple bacon cheese burgers to pay you. All these years we have been starting Brady because he has learned from you. You need to come back to bring the pats to greatness, not the joke of the league that we are now. Think of what you could bring this team to. People say or receivers are bad, but you could still throw for over 5,000,000 burgers in a game and 7 touch downs. We will fire all of our running backs and run 4-5 wide every play for you. This will give you maximum stat pumping time to play. We also will build a burger place faster that we change our grass to field turf. Just tell us what you need and we will sign you drew. drew I hate to see the next team you start for after you leave, look at your ex-backups, Brady(decent) JP Looserman (bad) and Homo(hall of shame creating worthy).

Robert Kraft

Ps 30,000 burger signing bonus.

9:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goodbye Drew. I really enjoyed this blog and it helped me get through this roller coaster season as much as it did for you. I hope that you come back next season, either as a starter again, or blogging again. Either way I want you to come back

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really excellent job. This is one of about five sites I religiously check and I fucking hate the Cowboys. I hope you can figure out a way to make money off this.

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With the passing of this blog, today is the saddest day in the history of the internet. No amount of burgers could satisfy my hunger the way these words could. So in tribute to the greatest blog ever written, I bought a Tony Romo jersey, size X-Tra Small, and gave it to my 10 year old sister. I then tackled her, causing her to fumble, and subsequently cry.

That one was for you Drew.

11:29 PM  
Anonymous The Stark Raving Mad said...

The legacy of "Drew Bledsoe" lives on as the legend of the Boys dies with HOMIE ROMO.

Good night...good fight. Go Eagle!

2:48 AM  
Blogger Rast said...

Drew, please bring the site back next season.

3:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys don't get it...go to straightcashhomey.net This really wasn't Drew.....

11:54 AM  
Blogger cyberman said...

I'll miss you, Drew. God bless and have some good and get some give!

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interviewer - So Bill, why exactly did you leave Dallas to return home to the Giants?

Parcells - Just leave me alone already will ya' ? Why ask something so stupid?

Interviewer - Just tell us, was it Jerry? TO?

Parcells - No. No.

Interviewer - Wait a minute Bill. It was Romo, wasn't it? You couldn't deal with Tony Romo coming back next season?

Parcells - Yeah. Tony fuckin' Homo. Hey fellas make sure you bleep that, alright?

Interviewer - What's your first move now that you're running the Giants?

Parcells - Sign Bledsoe.

1:06 PM  
Blogger D. Jacob Miller said...

Nothing made me more happy than watching Tony "PRO BOWL" Romo muff the snap and send the Cowgirls home to watch the Eagles win the Superbowl.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew-Don't give up. There's a place for you in the CFL.

A pats fan

4:35 PM  
Anonymous wayne in maine said...

dangerous drew in jacksonville. sounds like a good combo to me.another good combo homo in a butterfingers comercial

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Nick said...

hey drew... u here homo tried to kill himself???.. ya he didnt.. cuz he couldnt hold onto the gun

10:20 PM  
Blogger James said...

Drew, I think you have one more thing to talk about. HOW COME YOU WEREN'T THE HOLDER? You are being paid $3 million a year to blog during the game? I saw you on the sidelines in uniform, why couldn't you go out there and hold the damn ball? You could've been a hero!

11:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please come save me. Tony Homo is being a douche and crying like a little girl. I could use a dick in a box from a real man Drew!

Carrie Underwood.

12:29 AM  
Anonymous ManGenius said...

Drew,

What can I say, except that you're a bonafide GENIUS! And of course, I should know. When I was crafting the offensive and defensive schemes that won the Patriots 3 Super Bowls, who got the credit - moi? Negative. Genius is pain - we both know it!

And now for the "Rest of the Story": It was absolutely brilliant of you to hand Homo that grease-dripping hamburger just before he went out to hold for the flubbed field goal attempt. You knew Homo wouldn't wipe the slippery burger grease all over his pretty white uniform! My only regret is that the TV cameras didn't pan over to you right after Homo's flub. It would have been priceless!

From one Genius to another Drew, congrats on your awesome blog. It was creative, entertaining, and in my not-so-humble opinion, worthy of a Pullitzer Prize. Be sure to bring this blog back next season Mr. RDB, because like you, it's a true winner!!!

Best,

Man

6:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The QB of the future can learn from the past

http://a564.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/26/l_f34d45724ae568bb5225d8e6c98f6d43.jpg

9:27 AM  
Blogger GreenEgg said...

Gotta plug my "Tony Romo KILLED my inner child" shirts.

http://www.cafepress.com/greeneggpage

GreenEgg

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew this site was fake since the beginning but I kept reading it since it was really funny. I don't care who wrote this but whoever you are, you made me have fun.

10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey...we all hate the Cowboys anyway...so what's next Drew...The Vikings could use you for sure...so hold off on building that place in Branson just yet...

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All you lousy ingrates may as well know that I, the real Jay Mariotti am live blogging the Bears-Seahawks game this Sunday over HERE.
I'm charging these pricks a fortune for my blogging services. I need the cash to pay for this goddamn angioplasty. And the little extra helps to cover the bills for my relocation to glorious Boise Idaho.

11:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew I'll be ordering a Double-Double in your honor this afternoon.
Burgers!

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The worthless quaterback rides off into the sunset as a worthless blogger. Hope you enjoy retirement, becuase nobody wants a washed up qb. ROMO RULES!!!! Super Bowl champs next year baby!

12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RomoSucks.com

5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew, you are an alright guy. Speaking of plugs however, I would like to plug my man Mo Lewis for 0wning you and indirectly leading the Pats to 3 rings. Thanks Mo, oh yeah and thanks Drew I guess.


- Mike from Boston

9:02 PM  
Blogger Terry_Jim said...

Don't worry about a job, Drew.
The 'BOYS sure could use a holder on the special teams.

You could get a part time gig teaching Grammatica to block.

Otherwise, you are a better sports writer than 90% of the schlock shovelers out there. Happy landings.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Boise Wants Jay said...

I am the Drew Bledsoe of journalism.

- Really Jay Mariotti

2:50 PM  
Anonymous Swijen said...

I think TO should get a blog also would like to know what is in that messed up head of his.

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you better continue this blog next year.

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laughs, the love, and the hate...of Tony Romo. Oh, and appreciation of burgers.

1:26 AM  
Anonymous Cameron the Beast said...

TonyHomo.com = Greatest Sports Blog Ever.

6:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DREW!

With the news of Jerry Jones saying you're probably not coming back next season, PLEASE keep us updated through the process of you trying to find another team to DOMINATE on.

And please post burger recipes.

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura Said...
Drew,
Please don't retire just because of
those miserable backstabbing team
ates of yous on the Dallas Cowboys.
You still have a lot to offer the
N.F.L. Best Of Luck Drew! You are still my favorite quarterback!

8:44 PM  
Blogger Head Gossipper said...

oakland should treak u will Drew.

1:00 AM  
Blogger Susan said...

This blog has been awesome. Thanks for all the burger-luvin' posts

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Drew ,Jp says Hi .see ya in black and silver.
rudy the buffalo

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awww come backkkkk

4:05 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

DREW!

Parcells is retiring. There must be one logical explanation. Jones is changing his mind (after you made him some burgers, no doubt) about you and his organization and he's letting YOU clean house.

Tell me this is true!

11:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drew Bledsoe will be the next head coach of Dallas Cowboys.

Fake Jerry

4:18 PM  
Blogger jcmm2109 said...

i love romo but i this blog is hella funny. i hope to see you back next year. looking forward to next seasons blog.

2:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will miss ya Drew, always followed where you went Pats, Bills, Cowboys. Since I was a little girl you were always my favorite player. Hope where ever you go you give it your all.

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey what ever you do dont retire there wont be any reason to even watch football any more. Your one of the best quaterbacks ever and my favorite. Plus you were first round pick in 1993. If no one wants you well then thats there fault.

Kim

7:41 PM  
Blogger Tommy Wilder said...

amir, ethan...this was f*cking awesome.

10:57 PM  
Blogger cowboysfan4life said...

dam dats fucked up but funny now jus make fun of donovan mcfagg lol

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Marilu said...

Good for people to know.

10:38 PM  
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I totally match with anything you have written.

10:50 PM  
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