Monday, November 27, 2006

This isn't a Game.

Hey everybody.

Sorry about the lack of posts recently, I guess I kinda needed to take a mental vacation from football, as well as from blogging. After last Thursday's debacle I decided to take some time to clear my head and get away from the game temporarily.

Plus, I promised my kid a PS3. I'm not sure if you guys know this, but promising your kid a PS3 before Christmas is pretty equivalent to promising your kid a unicorn at a reality festival.

These babies are hard to secure... and that's coming from me: A future hall of fame quarterback. I can't imagine how normal quarterbacks go about obtaining one of these. (Charlie Frye? Are you reading this?)

Here's just a summary of what I've had to go through:

Friday morning I got up extra early -- 2AM, and headed down to Best Buy assuming they'd have plenty of Playstations in stock. I mean, it's the most popular toy in America, why wouldn't they have it available, right? Would you believe the Best Buy wasn't even open!?

"Whatever," I thought. "I'm Drew F'ing Bledsoe. Best Buy is open when I say it's open!" And then for some stupid reason I said "8AM." Pretty counter-intuitive, but I had nothing to do for the next six hours.

Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a pre-pubescent store manager.

"No autographs!" I yell, as he lets me into the store. He offered me a dollar and a warm place to nap until the the weather got warm. I told him that wasn't necessary, I just wanted a Playstation 3, and I'd be on my way. He start cracking up and tried to explain between laughs that the Playstation 3 sold out in 11 minutes over ten days ago. I asked him when they'd be getting more and he told me to sign up for a three month waiting list.

Great. Now how are my children going to respect me?

I head over to about twelve more electronics stores and receive the same treatment. "We're sold out." "No Playstations until at least '07." "No I dont have any idea who I'm talking to." "I'm calling security." Same shit different store.

At about 4pm I just give up and decide to head into practice. I'm about six hours late but nobody cares anymore.

For some reason, when I get there, Homo was wearing a Santa's hat giving out presents to these inner city kids. Right as I'm about to yell something witty like "Nice try, retard. Christmas isn't for another four weeks. I hope you're not giving away calendars!" I notice that the toys he was giving away weren't toys at all. They were Playstation 3's!

I strapped on a hat and told Homo I would take it from here. I asked the remaining children what they really wanted for Christmas. Of course, they all said Playstation 3's so I had to act fast.

"Playstations rot your teeth. Here, take these candy apples instead," I said, throwing change at them.

They didn't buy it, but they were temporarily confused enough for me to nab the remaining PS3's and head home.

If you could only see the look on my boys' faces when they saw what their daddy did for them... It was then i realized that some things are more important than silly starting jobs, or inner city orphans. That's what the holidays and being a family is all about.

Suddenly I understood. Things are going to be all right.

PS - People have asked me to comment on Coach's decision to cut Mike Vanderjagt. Listen, in this league, if you don't produce, you dont play. Some people still don't understand that football is a business. If you can't help the team win football games you might as well not even be here. That's why l can't figure out for the life of me why Homo is still starting...


Blogger David Marchetti said...

Fing Brilliant Drew. Fing Brilliant. Tony Homo may have beautiful dimples,but he doesn't hold a bic lighter to your 44,611 career yards. I'm not a big fan of all these charitable acts of his. I think he is trying to cover for something. Have you performed a online criminal background check of him yet?

P.S. Mr. Vanderjagt, if you read Mr. Bledsoe's blog, may I suggest starting to air your grievances.

12:42 AM  
Blogger Ross McLochness said...

Hey Bledsoe, I really don't know what's more frustrating.... Watching you consistently overthrow wide-open receivers, or watching Tony Homo having career games and playing tickle-butt with the tender-assed Cowboys receivers... I need a hamburger.

2:34 AM  
Blogger GreenEgg said...

Hey Drew - you wouldn't have happened to accidently grab an extra PS3, would ya? I'll pay ya good for it. Heck, I'll even drive down there and buy you a burger, man! C'mon, help a brother out, man.

10:54 AM  
Blogger robbie talihan said...

hey Drew will you come play for the Giants we will take just about anyone not named Eli at this point

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad you got a new post up. It was another great read as always. I am looking forward to your writing career once your done with football in 8-10 years. Glad you were able to stop Home from giving all of those PS3's away, what a waste that would have been. And what is up with Best Buy not being open when you got there, the nerve of those people. You have so many good ideas and philosophies in addition to being a future Hall of Fame QB, have you ever thought of running for office? I think you would be a natural. Imagine you could mulit task and be say mayor and starting Cowboys QB at the same time. How awesome would that be. I think we should organize a get together at a local burger place, maybe Kincaid's in Southlake, for all of your fans and supporters of this blog to get together. We can all have some burgers and talk about your future in politics and quarterbacking. Keep hope alive Drew, and remember you are going to get Homo in the end.
Your friend,

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bledsoe Rookie card

Tony Homo Rookie card
That's degrading

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brother! Come Half time this week we shall have you back. The Tuna, and the rest of the world, has made a huge mistake and now it's time to correct it. Homo .. what a fag ... giving ps3's to retards ...

5:14 PM  
Blogger Head Gossipper said...

hey drew im really pulling for you since we all know you got screwed in the brady deal. who does homo think he is anyways?

10:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Screw you, Bledsoe.

You're nothing!!! But now that I'm gone, watch the Cowboys lose the rest of their games because of that f***ing spare, Martina Dramatica.

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kicking wasn't the problem in 2006, but the perhaps the holder was. Kicking certainly was THE problem in 2005. The Cowboys went 9-7 these past two seasons, losing key games down the stretch. Thus, QB wasn't the problem.

9:23 AM  

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