Caption Crunch
For the first time in a while, I found myself at home watching football on a Sunday in December.
There are many differences when you're watching football as opposed to playing it. For one, when you're at home in the comfort of your own living room, you can eat roughly 20 Burgers with all of your favorite condoments (BBQ sauce/Bacon/Salt). However, during a game you have to be sneaky about the 20 or so Burgers you eat. Maybe just go patty-only.
It's also weird watching professional quarterbacks play on television, and knowing that you are a better passer than they are -- but I'm sure anybody who caught a glimpse of Tim Rattay, David Carr, Chris Weinke, Derek Anderson, or Kyle Boller today knows exactly how that feels.
Speaking of normal, non-hall-of-famers, my friend sent me an email today with photos from today's NFL action attached. I guess he replaced the normal captions with fake captions. He told me my audience would get a kick out of them. I'm more of a Knock Knock joke kinda guy but I owe him one, so here you go. Maybe you'll understand them:
People don't realize that being a great quarterback means having a great sense of humor. That's why I can't wait for my Hall of Fame Inductation speech, which I will treat as a thirty minute stand up set.
I already have one bit planned out about an interrupting cow that knocks on somebody's door. I don't wanna give too much away so I'll just leave it at that.
There are many differences when you're watching football as opposed to playing it. For one, when you're at home in the comfort of your own living room, you can eat roughly 20 Burgers with all of your favorite condoments (BBQ sauce/Bacon/Salt). However, during a game you have to be sneaky about the 20 or so Burgers you eat. Maybe just go patty-only.
It's also weird watching professional quarterbacks play on television, and knowing that you are a better passer than they are -- but I'm sure anybody who caught a glimpse of Tim Rattay, David Carr, Chris Weinke, Derek Anderson, or Kyle Boller today knows exactly how that feels.
Speaking of normal, non-hall-of-famers, my friend sent me an email today with photos from today's NFL action attached. I guess he replaced the normal captions with fake captions. He told me my audience would get a kick out of them. I'm more of a Knock Knock joke kinda guy but I owe him one, so here you go. Maybe you'll understand them:
People don't realize that being a great quarterback means having a great sense of humor. That's why I can't wait for my Hall of Fame Inductation speech, which I will treat as a thirty minute stand up set.
I already have one bit planned out about an interrupting cow that knocks on somebody's door. I don't wanna give too much away so I'll just leave it at that.
posted by Really Drew Bledsoe | 12:00 AM
61 Comments:
Drew,
Besides displaying an egomanical need to repeatedly announce that you are still a great quarterback, you are outright ignorant of what is really going on arround you. You are clearly self-absorbed, and motivated to jumpstart your dead career.
Hey Drew,
Andy Reid just stated in his Monday morning press conference that you'll "go down as one of the all-time greats." I think he was serious.
hey drew,
i got 3 questions, what is the deal with yer obsession with eating burgers? And how many White Castle burgers can you eat? Also how do you feel about TO spitting in that guys face?
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No need to wake Art up. Brooks/Walter/Tuscishowever you spell it won't convert. Don't disrupt the old man's sleep.
Hey Drew!
Since I live in Northern California I have always been a 49er fan. What do we have to do to sign you???? Alex Smith couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat! Imagine how awesome we'd be with you throwing laser bullets to Bryant and handing off to Frank Gore. Now that the Steelers have as many Superbowl wins as us we need some more and there no way Alex Smith is taking us there. Leave the Cowgirls and come play for a real team here in San Fran.
P.S. I hear Tony Homo is a frequent visitor to the Castro District!
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amber must be a vegetarian.
Bitch.
Drew, we've got to get together and eat some burgers. We'll make photo shopped images displaying the terrible quarterbacking that is Tony Romo and Ben Roethlisberger.
omg bledsoe ur such a crybaby... ur not starter anymore... DEAL WITH IT! ev1 else that stops being a starter neva cries, billy volek, jake plummer and many more
from: a titans fan, that h8s the cowboys
ur not the real drew bledsoe r u? ur just a fan that likes him and h8s tony romo
amber is an idiot
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fuck you- romo is the shit. cowboys all the way. you are a fag who is a hater. go die
Because this guy is obviously a cowboy fan, I was compelled to translate it into what he meant. What he said:
fuck you- romo is the shit. cowboys all the way. you are a fag who is a hater. go die
What he meant:
fuck you- romo is shit. cowboys are terrible. you hate fags which explains your hatred for romo. kill tony romo and resume command of the cowboys.
amber is really homo's mexican cousin amberto rodiguez homo
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