MY Readers Have Spoken!
Hi.
I know you guys all take the time to come here every day because I'm hilarious, I'm entertaining, and I am extremely honest. And I appreciate that. I try to give you insight into my life as candidly as possible and as humorously as possible. And just like my football career, so far this blog has been a huge success. In other words, if there were a blogging hall of fame, no doubt I would be headed there as well.
However, I am writing this post as a VERY serious warning. There will be no jokes in this post, just very stern remarks about something so ridiculous, so disrespectful, it must be addressed. If you are looking to laugh, I suggest you turn on Sportscenter and listen to "analysts" debate whether or not Homo is good enough to make the ProBowl. (L.O.L.)
Okay here it is:
There is a blog out there, I'm sure some of you cowboys fans out there have already heard of it. It is called Matt Mosley's Cowboy Blog. Matt Mosley is a sports columnist for the Dallas Morning News, the main newspaper here in Dallas/Ft. Worthless, and he mainly covers the Cowboys.
I used to respect Mr. Mosley for using his blog to report the complete, and unbiased truth. But since Homo became starter, Mr. Mosely's Pro-Romo agenda has began to surface in a major way. Simply put: Mr. Mosley's Blog is Propaganda!
I won't even begin to bore you with how many of his pro-Romo (or Promo for short) opinions he presents as fact: "Romo had a solid game today" "Romo appears to be growing more confident in the pocket." "Romo has been named NFC Player of the Month."
Jesus Christ, the people come to your blog Mr. Mosley to read about the Dallas Cowboys, not some field goal holder who recently learned how to throw a football!
Why not tell them the whole truth? Like the fact that Romo appearing to be more confident means that he used to look like a nervous girl out there? Or that he only won that stupid award because everybody else in the NFC Had an off-month? I guess you don't wanna BLOG about that, huh Mr. Mosley?
Well, I've put up with this partisan bullshit for a while, but today was the last straw. Take a look at the header graphic from Mr. Mosley's Blog a couple days ago:
In case you can't tell, those three players up there are the big three: TO, Julius Jones and of course, Myself. Makes sense, right? Well take a look at the new header graphic Mr. Mosley put up there today:
If you can't see, Mr. Mosley had the gall to REMOVE me and insert that dumb non-Burger-eating hippy in my place! And if that wasn't bad enough, he's blamed the readers for this move!
"The readers have spoken: Bledsoe is out and Romo is in at the top of the blog."
The readers have spoken!? If you stopped blogging for 30 seconds and let the readers actually speak, the only thing they would have spoken is a resounding "GO FUCK YOURSELF Mr. Mosley!"
I mean, come on! What next?
"The Readers have spoken: Mt. Rushmore now features Jefferson, Washington, Lincoln, and COUNT CHOCULA!"
"The Readers have spoken: the Mona Lisa now has a 1900 steel conglomerate tycoon mustache!"
"The Readers have spoken: The Bible is now called "Tony Homo's Diary"
Well Mr. Mosley, you haven't heard what MY READERS have spoken!
That is why I want each and every one of you to email Mr. Matt Mosley at his Dallas Morning News email address, and tell him exactly what's on your mind.
That's why I need all 7.6 million of you loyal readers to tell him that his blog is a joke, and that if the header doesn't get changed back to its original form featuring Drew Bledsoe, that you are going to quit reading his little columns FOREVER.
Then Mr. Mosley will have no choice but to go to his boss and say "I have some bad news sir. You know the 600,000 subscribers we have in circulation? Well they are all threatening to cancel... Plus seven million more."
Then his boss will say "I just hope you have LaDanian Tomlinson on your fantasy team, Mr. Mosley, because that would be about the only thing you have going for yourself right now. You're fired."
And Mosley will be like, "No sir. I traded LT after week 1 for Shaun Alexander, Carnell Williams and Randy Moss. It seemed like the right decision at the time."
And his boss will be like "Pack your desk and leave."
Oh, man. Mr. Mosley, you just made the worst non-fantasy decision of your young career.
Will you join me, friends?
ps - If you email something particularly biting, leave the email as a comment, I'd like to read them all and even display a couple good ones in a future post. We can make a difference. Join the Drew-volution.
pps - I put ground beef in Homo's cleats today.
I know you guys all take the time to come here every day because I'm hilarious, I'm entertaining, and I am extremely honest. And I appreciate that. I try to give you insight into my life as candidly as possible and as humorously as possible. And just like my football career, so far this blog has been a huge success. In other words, if there were a blogging hall of fame, no doubt I would be headed there as well.
However, I am writing this post as a VERY serious warning. There will be no jokes in this post, just very stern remarks about something so ridiculous, so disrespectful, it must be addressed. If you are looking to laugh, I suggest you turn on Sportscenter and listen to "analysts" debate whether or not Homo is good enough to make the ProBowl. (L.O.L.)
Okay here it is:
There is a blog out there, I'm sure some of you cowboys fans out there have already heard of it. It is called Matt Mosley's Cowboy Blog. Matt Mosley is a sports columnist for the Dallas Morning News, the main newspaper here in Dallas/Ft. Worthless, and he mainly covers the Cowboys.
I used to respect Mr. Mosley for using his blog to report the complete, and unbiased truth. But since Homo became starter, Mr. Mosely's Pro-Romo agenda has began to surface in a major way. Simply put: Mr. Mosley's Blog is Propaganda!
I won't even begin to bore you with how many of his pro-Romo (or Promo for short) opinions he presents as fact: "Romo had a solid game today" "Romo appears to be growing more confident in the pocket." "Romo has been named NFC Player of the Month."
Jesus Christ, the people come to your blog Mr. Mosley to read about the Dallas Cowboys, not some field goal holder who recently learned how to throw a football!
Why not tell them the whole truth? Like the fact that Romo appearing to be more confident means that he used to look like a nervous girl out there? Or that he only won that stupid award because everybody else in the NFC Had an off-month? I guess you don't wanna BLOG about that, huh Mr. Mosley?
Well, I've put up with this partisan bullshit for a while, but today was the last straw. Take a look at the header graphic from Mr. Mosley's Blog a couple days ago:
In case you can't tell, those three players up there are the big three: TO, Julius Jones and of course, Myself. Makes sense, right? Well take a look at the new header graphic Mr. Mosley put up there today:
If you can't see, Mr. Mosley had the gall to REMOVE me and insert that dumb non-Burger-eating hippy in my place! And if that wasn't bad enough, he's blamed the readers for this move!
"The readers have spoken: Bledsoe is out and Romo is in at the top of the blog."
The readers have spoken!? If you stopped blogging for 30 seconds and let the readers actually speak, the only thing they would have spoken is a resounding "GO FUCK YOURSELF Mr. Mosley!"
I mean, come on! What next?
"The Readers have spoken: Mt. Rushmore now features Jefferson, Washington, Lincoln, and COUNT CHOCULA!"
"The Readers have spoken: the Mona Lisa now has a 1900 steel conglomerate tycoon mustache!"
"The Readers have spoken: The Bible is now called "Tony Homo's Diary"
Well Mr. Mosley, you haven't heard what MY READERS have spoken!
That is why I want each and every one of you to email Mr. Matt Mosley at his Dallas Morning News email address, and tell him exactly what's on your mind.
That's why I need all 7.6 million of you loyal readers to tell him that his blog is a joke, and that if the header doesn't get changed back to its original form featuring Drew Bledsoe, that you are going to quit reading his little columns FOREVER.
Then Mr. Mosley will have no choice but to go to his boss and say "I have some bad news sir. You know the 600,000 subscribers we have in circulation? Well they are all threatening to cancel... Plus seven million more."
Then his boss will say "I just hope you have LaDanian Tomlinson on your fantasy team, Mr. Mosley, because that would be about the only thing you have going for yourself right now. You're fired."
And Mosley will be like, "No sir. I traded LT after week 1 for Shaun Alexander, Carnell Williams and Randy Moss. It seemed like the right decision at the time."
And his boss will be like "Pack your desk and leave."
Oh, man. Mr. Mosley, you just made the worst non-fantasy decision of your young career.
Will you join me, friends?
ps - If you email something particularly biting, leave the email as a comment, I'd like to read them all and even display a couple good ones in a future post. We can make a difference. Join the Drew-volution.
pps - I put ground beef in Homo's cleats today.
posted by Really Drew Bledsoe | 10:14 PM
34 Comments:
Mr.Mosely,
I must insist that you immediatly place Drew Bledsoe's photo at the top of your blog's header and remove the recently placed photo of that non-burger eating hippie of a field goal holder. I am horrified that you would think of insulting a future hall of famer in such a way. Until said defaced header is fixed, I, and many of my friends( really, we discussed his while grilling burgers yesterday) will be boycotting your blog.
R.Jeremy
Check out Mosley's disclaimer - "if Romo stinks up the place..."
You'll have to check it in the web archives though. I think we shut down Mosley's blog.
I sent him a mail too
Mr Mosely,
I see you have been shamed to the point of closing down your blog. The inside information I have is due to the overwhelming amount of email you have received for the completely unjustified replacement of everyone’s true hero, Drew, with a no talent, gay, goofy, field goal holder. (oh yeah, only burgers he eats are out of his nose).
There is no truth to the rumor that our Cowboys have won 5 of the last 6 because Homo has played so well. That lucky pass to Witten at the end of the Giants game, well if Drew had thrown it .. TOUCHDOWN. Besides if Drew (blessed be his name) had been in there we would have never had to make a 4th quarter comeback. We would have been up by 45 points.
I hereby cancel my free subscription to your blog and will only visit it 3 times a day now. Take that Mr Mosely!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tony+homo
Drew Bledsoe is a great man! It's an outrage to have his picture replaced by hippy Homo. Bring back Drew! I'm never reading your column again unless Really Drew Bledsoe tells me you have put him back up!
No burgers for you!
Sincerely,
A New Cowboy Fan Who Loves Drew Bledsoe
I was appalled to see that you removed Drew Bledsoe from your blog's banner and replaced him with Tony Romo. Drew is an American hero and icon. He stands for everything that is great with this country. He is the greatest football player to step on the field and cooks a mean burger.
Romo's play is painful to watch. I think he actually is left handed and hasn't realized it yet. I have seen Uncle Rico throw steak with a better spiral then Romo. What's up with Romo running around avoiding the rush. He's a girly man. Drew stands in there and takes the hit and sack in order to tire out the defense, so his running back's can get a few yards. Drew could run too, he's actually faster and more elusive then Vick, but Drew is humble and doesn't like to show off and wants some of his other teamates to shine.
I think the decison to bench Drew must been from the Illuminati or New World Order. They are trying to run this country and world into the ground so they can take over and gain complete control and turns us into mindless slaves. Benching arguably the greatest player of all time, who happens to play for America's team seems a bit fishy to me. Someone call Alex Jones!!!! Drew knows whats going on and is playing it cool. He is just waiting for the right time to attack and fight back against them.
In conclusion you need to put Bledsoe back on your banner. Standup for your country Mosley. Take off Owens and Jones as well. Put 3 pictures of Drew up. Have one of them of him working the grill.
Drew,
How does the recent news that Jason Gesser, the prolific AFL quarterback and ex-cougar, is going to have his number at WSU retired? Why do you think yours was never retired?
http://washingtonstate.scout.com/2/556132.html
Drew,
Did you know that the 'Boys are due to play the New England Patriots next season?
Well, if not, I think this is something you should bring to the Tuna's attention. Think of the storylines!!! We all know that Brady thing was fluke. You need to start next season and kick his ass! Make them sorry they ever chose him over you!
Ash
P.S. Can I come over for some burgers? I hear you're the best!
Why would you replace Drew Bledsoe with Tony Romo? The kid hasn't even played half a season worth of games and everyone is riding his jock. Does Bledsoe's many years of greatness not mean anything to you and your dumbass readers? I am done with your blog.
P.S. Homo doesn't even eat burgers, I mean wtf?
I am no biblical scholar by any means, but I'm pretty sure that replacing Drew's picture with Homo is a precursor to the seven signs of the apocalypse, harbinger of doom.
Stock up on burgers boyz, famine in coming.
i sent him an email
Drew, I'm simply overwhelmed by your openness, honesty and your candidness.
(oh hell... I can't do this)
Man, you are one freaking hilarious writer! I hope you're getting paid for all this!
LMFAO- I've lived in "Dallas-Fort Worthless" for 52 years and I've never heard that term before (I must be more naive than I thought, even my spell checker let it go...)
Good luck "Drew" and down with all the homos for Romo!!
Gary
Dear Mr. Mosley ...
Have your readers spoken? Or have your readers been
perusing the most recent teen-bop magazine and have
gotten a semi chub over Tony Homos numbers because TO
has finally decided to hold onto the ball. Everyone
knows Bledsoe is the superior QB as well as the better
lover. Ask the ladies, and some of the men too. They
will tell you the truth. More truth? How about your
"readers" have been fawning over TH because that's all
you write about!! Write more about how Bledsoe is the
best Dallas QB ever (that's right) and you will have
your readers demanding that he is back up on your
banner. It's simple supply and demand economics. Trust
me, it's complicated.
- Your "readers"
Sir Mosley,
Coach received a text message from an insider that Trey "Wing-Ding" Wingo just announced on NFL Live that he's three commercials away from leaking a series of photographs from a Baylor fraternity party of you and an elephant animal balloon with a condom as a trunk if you don't replace El Once on your blog banner.
By the way, Coach heard that Drew likes to put two parallel french fries on his patty as a superstitious ritual he and Big Badass Bill The Cattle Russler Parcells share as a pregame meal.
Defcon 5 is approaching Matty...
Mr. Mosely,
First let me say, Tony Romo is a great passer...compared to Frank Dolce, who was destroyed by DREW MCQUEEN BLEDSOE in the 1992 Copper Bowl, or as you may know it by its more populat name, "The Blood Bath Bowl".
How could you take BLEDSOE off your blog logo and replace him with Homo? im going to prove to you that DREW is the best QB to ever grace God's green earth (if youre wondering why BLEDSOE'S name is only in capital letters, its because he is too advanced for pathetic lower case letter. you wouldnt understand. also i lied when i said Romo was a great passer. its called sarcasm).
Joe Montana vs. DREW
Montana was good, but thats becausethe NFL was weak back then. how can you take this guy seriously when he played in a BLEDSOE-less league? he wouldnt have won any of those championships if DREW was in the league...which by the way, a 12 year old BLEDSOE is better than Montana in his prime.
John Elway vs. DREW
John is a joke! remember the infamous "band on the field" play? guess who played on the losing team? thats right, John El(the wrong)way. and correct me if im wrong, but didnt he lose to Montana in a super bowl? and didnt i already explain why DREW is better than Joe? using this theory (plus the fact that Elway couldnt win until he had the best O-line in the league) its obvious who is better.
Dan Marino vs. DREW
Dan is as clutch as the Mavericks in the finals (but you already know how much Dallas blows). has Marino ever won a super bowl? no. but he lost one to Montana. and if that wasnt enough, BLEDSOE has more rushing yards in one season than Marino did in his whole career. that proves how much more versatile DREW is. also, its hard to say Dan is a great quarterback. to be great, you have to be able to do more than just pass the ball, you have to be able to lead your team when it matters most. plus theres one record that Dan didnt get his greedy hands on, most completions in a single game: 45 by none other than DREW BLEDSOE.
Try Aikman vs. DREW
hahahahahahahahahaha
Brett Favre vs. DREW
i know what youre thinking, "Brett beat DREW in the super bowl". youre wrong. BLEDSOE let him win because he pitied him. Favre is so stupid, he cant even spell his own name right! on the other hand, DREW is a world-famous auther. maybe you heard of his book, "Make the Right Call." plus it wasnt DREWS fault the Patriots lost. just look how many yards he had. also, Brett has thrown way more interceptions than DREW. obviously, throughout his career Favre's strategy has been to throw the ball as hard as he can and then pray that someone wearing yellow and green catches. n fundamentals.
Johnny Unitas vs. DREW
read: Joe Montana vs. DREW (plus, Unitas lost a super bowl to a guy that wears pantyhose).
what more do i need to say? change your banner back to the way it was...actually take off the other two guys and make all three of DREW BLEDSOE.
p.s. i could have easily stated that DREW is the best QB ever best solely on his hamburger grilling skills, but that would be unfair to the rest of the NFL. hes just too good.
chris (i went to the pro bowl once) miller
its amazing how annoying and stupid you are
This blog is ridiculous. I can't actually believe that Drew Bledsoe, a respected veteran quarterback would actually lower himself to this level. This blog is nothing more than the rantings of a whiny child. Why not be happy for your teammate for his recent success? and remember, Romo didn't take your starting job from you, you played your way to the bench.
Real brave Tony...anonymous postings.
On another note, Carolina would be happy to trade Weinke for Drew. I think Romo could realte better to Weinke. He is a big fan of "Weinke".
wow anonymous 9:42. seriously.
Dear Mr. Mosely,
How could you Mr. Mosely sir? How could you? How could you replace Drew Bledsoe on your blog header with that flavor-of-the-day Tony Romo? I am disappointed. Have you seen Drew Bledsoe's career numbers? The man is a future HOFer. What are you going to do once Coach Parcells realizes the mistake he's made and puts Bledsoe back out there? If you don't change it back to Drew I will never read your blog again. That isn't a threat. That is a promise. You should know better Mr. Mosely.
Mr. Mosely,
I just wanted to write you and express my outrage over future HOFer Drew Bledsoe being removed from your blog's title graphic. Drew Bledsoe has thrown for over 40,000 yards and 250 touchdowns. Has Romo done that? Not a chance. You are making a huge mistake by removing future HOFer Bledsoe and replacing him with lucky Romo. What were you thinking? Bledsoe should still be starting for the Boys and you are just furthuring their demise with Romo at the helm by doing this. Please correct this IMMEDIATELY!!! Thank you.
Drew, we need you on the BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Homo show some class, Drew tells it like it is, and you're going to sign in as anonymous 9:42 just to further your hippy agenda?
Hey Drew! I saw your Jersey today at a mall for $19.99. I cleaned them out. They'll be worth more soon.
Why the hell would you replace Drew Bledsoe's pic with that stupid hippy Tony Homo. Mosley, you just proved yourself and incompetant loser nobody who doesn't know jack about football, much less the top side of a burger. Do you not know the future Hall of Famer that is Drew Bledsoe? You must feel really proud with your lame ass job, not contributing to society in any way. And then you have to go ahead and do this. Drew Bledsoe is the man. Such a good man that he will go over to a fans house and cook burgers. With that said, I formally name you the Uninformed Douchebag of the Decade. Feel proud Mosely, feel proud.
P.S. I will cancel my subscription if you do not change that photo.
How much crack are you all smoking. Drew got his shot and couldn;t do it with this team. I loved it when they signed him and happy he is still on the team, but Romo is moving this team better than Drew was going to.
Come on Homo.... Use your real name, not "Dave" We all know who you really are... Drew Bledsoe is the savior to the Dallas Cowboys organization and the world for that matter.
mr(s) mosley,
the atrocity you have commited against drew bledsoe by removing him from the header is unforgivable. doesn't anyone realize what bill parcells is doing? it is clear as day! he's only starting romo to be nice. think of it as an early christmas present for someone that would have never otherwise had a shot. bill's a giving and jolly man. you don't really think that drew bledsoe would actually be benched do you? mr bledsoe is a force of nature...a natural disaster, if you will. you don't bench a natural disaster. parcells just realizes that he can plug bledsoe back in at any time and run the table. drew could play 3/4 of the snaps with his eyes shut (and it is rumored he does...) and still go 39-40 with 7 tds. i'm finding it difficult to continue typing due to tears of anger forming in my eyes so i will leave it with this: you're going to hell mosley.
Personally as a fan of football, I support the change in the quarter back position. Bledsoe admit it, your homophobic comments about Romo are pretty childish, and you’re acting like a 5 year old right now pouting about a stupid header being changed. And if the cowboys thought that you could do a better job than Romo, guess what, you’d be back in there. So grow up you D-Bag!
tonight at the game, (apparently romo didnt eat his burgers this morning) i noticed that the bank of america billboard outside of the stadium had your number removed from the sleeve of your jersey.
an injustice?
yes sir!
fight back mr. bledsoe, fight back.
if anyone wants to climb up to the billboard outside texas stadium and paint the 11 back on the jersey, i'll bring burgers and some tots to boot!!
viva la drew-veloution
Oh the insanity of believing that a Mrs. Tony Homo could come in and truly replace our icon of virtue, resolve, patience, tolerance, and burgers, a MISTER DREW BLEDSOE! Lets look at the facts, thats right, the facts, something Matt Mosley obviously knows nothing about. Drew Bledsoe is a future hall of famer, he is a celebrity of epic proportions, and graces us with his presence every Sunday even though hes been temporarily asked to step aside so that Bill Parcell's wont have to listen to Tony whine about never getting to start.
Here's another fact about our "NFC player of the month", Tony Romo...scrambler? No no no, Tony Romo, little girl trying to get away from the big men chasing him, afraid to stay in the pocket and take a hit because it will hurt and he will cry. And like Tom Hanks said, "There's no crying in football!" Well, he wouldve said that if he made that movie about football instead of baseball. Is Mister Bledsoe afraid to take a hit? NO he is not, he is steadfast in the pocket, waiting till the last possible second, giving his receivers every chance they had to get to the ball, sure sometimes he was sacked for a loss of 10 and sometimes he would fumble, and OCCASIONALLY he would throw a pick, but that's the price of steadfast resolve and unflinchingly good quarterbacking.
Lets face it people, we all know that Tony Romo was and still is a division II no name college flash in the pan, just wait till HE drives a motorcycle without helmet while on the phone to Joe Simpson, driving at rediculous speeds because he thinks that the Chevy Suburban behind him is going to tackle him and crashes into the ground. Then who will you look for to lead your team? Thats right, Drew Bledsoe, and he's man enough to do it. That's who Drew Bledsoe is...a man...a burger eating man. Tony Romo is a cowboy...Drew Bledsoe is a CowMAN, now who do you want to lead your team to victory?
Dear Mr. Mosley,
I don't know what you were thinking by replacing Future-Hall-Of-Famer Drew "Burger King" Bledsoe by some Division II, 2 Interception throwing to the Saints (Is he colorblind?), getting sloppy seconds from Jessica Simpson field goal holder in your blog header.
Lets "mosey" on down to these stats....
Drew Bledsoe-44,611 yards passing, 251 TDs, 1 reception
Tony Romo-2,162 passing yards, 14 TDs, 9 INTs, 0 receptions
Now, Im not great at match, but im pretty sure Drew has 40,000 more passing yards. The stats dont lie. But, hey, how many FGs has Bledsoe held for? Right?
How about you put Drew back on that header and we forget that you put that career back-up on it instead.
Thanks.
Dear Mr. Mosley,
Who do you think you are to be able to take a future hall-of-famer off of your blog picture? This move questions your character as a U.S. citizen. In a country like Cuba, you would be shot dead on the spot if you ever questioned a hero of the country. Are you aware that Mr. Drew "Burger King" Bledsoe once ate thirteen burgers each weighing two pounds. If I am correct, you have had quite the career as a journalist. Would you like to get usurped by some Div III student who got a degree for sports writing. He has not proved himself; however, your editor enjoys his company and is one heck of a spell checker (Your career choice equivalent of a field goal holder). Now I know this would infuriate you, but he still looks better at the top of a blog picture, not. Why would you consider this blasphemy with a quarterback who only has 2,000+ career yards. I thank you for your time and hope that you change your blog to the way it is supposed to be, with three future pro bowlers on it.
Sincerely,
A concerned football conservative
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