Practice was Perfect!
Hey everybody, I realize this blog has been a bit of a downer, and I apologize far that. It's only because I've been in a sour mood recently, and this blog is a reflection of that. I'm usually a pretty happy guy. However, today was our last practice this week before flying off to DC, and I have to admit, it was my favorite practice of the year. I'm im a good mood for the first time, in probably three weeks.
Ever since Homo stole the starting job from me, I've been practicing with the second squad down on the lower field, away from the starters and the media. Honestly, it was rough at first looking up there and seeing my real teammates, but I'm starting to get used to these new guys. Class acts like Miles Austin, and Sam Hurd. No multi-million dollar contracts (except for myself of course), just a bunch of guys willing to hustle, and stay awake during meetings. (I'm still allowed two 15 minute naps a week.)
Today we were just ripping Homo in practice. It was so awesome. I started impersonating a couple of his throws and then I ran around like a fairy, screaming like a little girl and started doing cartwheels for no reason. I was in the middle of a pantomimed tea party when they started really cracking up, and Sam said "He's lost his mind!" Finally, I understood what they were talking about... and they were right: Tony Romo is crazy! I finally felt like I was part of the team again. I tried to give one of them a hug, I forget his name, but he kinda pushed me away. Just like a real family...
After that, I got pretty excited and asked them to give me some embarassing stories about Homo, so that I could blog about it! They were all just acting dumb, like "What the hell is a blog?" Seriously, you guys have never seen a bunch of jokesters like this in your life. Truly MY kind of people! I know you guys are all reading this now, so "Hey Fella's! See ya Tomorrow :) "
All right, I'm gonna need to rest up and get on a flight tomorrow. I'm not sure what the internet situation will be like on the road, so I better make my Sunday predictions right now.
You hate to root against your own team, but as a realist I understand that a team cannot win without a quarterback. So, barring a miracle (Like Homo severely hurting his neck or something) I'm gonna say Washington 52 - Dallas 7.
I can already read the comments now, "Drew! I understand seven points offensively because you have an unathletic moron at quarterback, but 52 points for the 'Skins? Don't you respect your defense!?" But, I do! Where do you think those 7 points are going to come from? It ain't our offense, thats for sure.
What you guys probably dont understand is that we could have the best defense of all time but that won't mean anything. I mean, you can staple a football to a duck then slice its head off, it would have a better pocket presense than Homo. Come to think of it, that slippery son of a bitch would be pretty tough to sack also. I wonder if there's a rule against that...
Anyway, our defense is great but it needs some time off the field, and with Tony "Three and Out" Romo at the helm, that's not looking too promising.
On the plus side, I dropped Carolina Defense and picked up Washington Defense this week in my fantasy. Lookin' at a handful of picks, and a couple TD's on Sunday! And just as a rule of thumb, I highly suggest you fantasy owners just continuously drop and add defenses that are playing against us. At least until coach comes to his senses and starts me.
See ya, football fans!
PS - Oh, by the way, after practice I stole Chris Palmer's clipboard -- he's the QB Coach here. It said, and I quote "Romo: 2 Incompletions today." And that's WITHOUT a defense. You guys arent future hall of famers (like myself), so I'll dumb it down for you. Two incompletions in practice is roughly equivalent to going 9-39 with sixteen INT in an actual game. We are so screwed for Sunday...
PPS - This is just a note to myself, you guys don't need to read this part: "Drew -- Write treatment for movie script about a duck playing quarterback. Working title -- Personal Fowl"
Ever since Homo stole the starting job from me, I've been practicing with the second squad down on the lower field, away from the starters and the media. Honestly, it was rough at first looking up there and seeing my real teammates, but I'm starting to get used to these new guys. Class acts like Miles Austin, and Sam Hurd. No multi-million dollar contracts (except for myself of course), just a bunch of guys willing to hustle, and stay awake during meetings. (I'm still allowed two 15 minute naps a week.)
Today we were just ripping Homo in practice. It was so awesome. I started impersonating a couple of his throws and then I ran around like a fairy, screaming like a little girl and started doing cartwheels for no reason. I was in the middle of a pantomimed tea party when they started really cracking up, and Sam said "He's lost his mind!" Finally, I understood what they were talking about... and they were right: Tony Romo is crazy! I finally felt like I was part of the team again. I tried to give one of them a hug, I forget his name, but he kinda pushed me away. Just like a real family...
After that, I got pretty excited and asked them to give me some embarassing stories about Homo, so that I could blog about it! They were all just acting dumb, like "What the hell is a blog?" Seriously, you guys have never seen a bunch of jokesters like this in your life. Truly MY kind of people! I know you guys are all reading this now, so "Hey Fella's! See ya Tomorrow :) "
All right, I'm gonna need to rest up and get on a flight tomorrow. I'm not sure what the internet situation will be like on the road, so I better make my Sunday predictions right now.
You hate to root against your own team, but as a realist I understand that a team cannot win without a quarterback. So, barring a miracle (Like Homo severely hurting his neck or something) I'm gonna say Washington 52 - Dallas 7.
I can already read the comments now, "Drew! I understand seven points offensively because you have an unathletic moron at quarterback, but 52 points for the 'Skins? Don't you respect your defense!?" But, I do! Where do you think those 7 points are going to come from? It ain't our offense, thats for sure.
What you guys probably dont understand is that we could have the best defense of all time but that won't mean anything. I mean, you can staple a football to a duck then slice its head off, it would have a better pocket presense than Homo. Come to think of it, that slippery son of a bitch would be pretty tough to sack also. I wonder if there's a rule against that...
Anyway, our defense is great but it needs some time off the field, and with Tony "Three and Out" Romo at the helm, that's not looking too promising.
On the plus side, I dropped Carolina Defense and picked up Washington Defense this week in my fantasy. Lookin' at a handful of picks, and a couple TD's on Sunday! And just as a rule of thumb, I highly suggest you fantasy owners just continuously drop and add defenses that are playing against us. At least until coach comes to his senses and starts me.
See ya, football fans!
PS - Oh, by the way, after practice I stole Chris Palmer's clipboard -- he's the QB Coach here. It said, and I quote "Romo: 2 Incompletions today." And that's WITHOUT a defense. You guys arent future hall of famers (like myself), so I'll dumb it down for you. Two incompletions in practice is roughly equivalent to going 9-39 with sixteen INT in an actual game. We are so screwed for Sunday...
PPS - This is just a note to myself, you guys don't need to read this part: "Drew -- Write treatment for movie script about a duck playing quarterback. Working title -- Personal Fowl"
posted by Really Drew Bledsoe | 7:06 PM
4 Comments:
GENIUS!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Drew, this is Keylon Kincade. Dude, the reason that I didn't hug you was because you were wearing a pink miniskirt.
Romo or you does not seem to make any difference.
No worries, Fucktard Mariotti will soon be writing in His column* begging the Bears to sign you after that loss to the Dolphins.
http://firethefucktard.blogspot.com/
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