Sunday, January 07, 2007

Game Over.

This blog was a way for me, Drew Bledsoe, to deal with the 2006 Dallas Cowboys season.

The season is over. And now so is this blog.

If I learned anything from Jerome Bettis, Jerry Seinfeld, and myself, it's that you should always leave them wanting more. Go out on top.

I don't want to be like Tony Romo, and peak early then fizzle out into obscurity and show up at the ProBowl in one month feeling like a 7th grader who crashed a prom knowing that I don't deserve to be there, hanging around all the "grown ups" knowing that everybody thinks that Matt Hasselback or Jon Kitna are better quarterbacks than me and that I cost the Cowboys a chance to advance to the next round because I couldn't hold on to a football, and I smell, and I don't like Burgers.

That's not who I am.

So this will be my last post.

I want to thank everybody who's ever read this blog. You are responsible for this greatness more than I am. Of course, that's not true. The only reason you are here is because I'm a master story teller. I was just being modest.

When I started this blog exactly 75 days ago (maybe, I'm just guesstimating) I had no idea how much of an impact it would have on my life. I just wanted an outlet. A way to share with the world my hilarious, well-articulated thoughts. I realized during the live blog last night that it has become so much more than that. I'm now not just a future hall of fame quarterback, but a future hall of fame author/entertainer as well.

So where do we go from here? Will I be back next year? Did Homo cry like a little girl in the locker room last night? These are questions that have no answers. Except for the Homo crying one. The answer to that is "OH God yes."

That reminds me. One final Homo story for the road:

As Homo sat by his locker, with this head in his hands shivering from sadness, tears rolling off of his elbows and onto his knees, I almost felt bad enough not to mess with him... But I couldn't resist!

I walked up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and said "Hey Buddy. I know how you're feeling. This is probably the low point in your life. You look around and you're surrounded by a room full of people you've disappointed today. It's tough to look any one of us in the eye and say "Thanks for practicing all year long and preparing, but it doesn't matter because I couldn't hold onto a football." As an athlete there is nothing worse than letting your team down. It's hard, I know. It's really hard. But on the plus side I saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geiko. Also -- Did you get my letter? Because I think I forgot to STAMP IT!"

He moved his foot as I went to stomp on it, but I think I got him pretty good otherwise.

Okay, thanks for reading everybody. It's been fun. I'm leaving the comments open, so if you have anything to say, just know that I'll be reading them.

Burgers,
Drew Bledsoe.

PS - Oh right. Almost forgot. I promised these guys I would plug THEIR sports blog. They're pretty good, if you're into like, sports related comedy. I told them most of my readers were just here to read the truth, they weren't here to laugh. Either way, they insisted, so check out StraightCashHomey.net.

TonyHomo.com has been a Straight Cash, Homey! production. For more information about Tony Homo, check out StraightCashHomey.net, right now. Like... RIGHT NOW.

99 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:38 PM

    No more? :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4:43 PM

    Bye, Drew. Enjoy Oakland next year.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4:54 PM

    Don't ever apply for a columnist position at the Chicago Sun-Times.

    You just might steal my job.

    Sincerely (and recently unclogged)

    Jay Mariotti

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous5:03 PM

    I love you Drew. In a hetro sort of way.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous5:05 PM

    And so it goes. For the real football fan, the season ends not when they play those meaningless last few playoff games, or the Pro Bowl, or whatever.

    It's when Drew isn't putting on his pads anymore.

    Don't ever retire, Drew. The NFL was nothing before you came, and it will be nothing after you're gone.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for helping me out... I've converted.

    Enjoyed your blog. Hate to see it all end.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous5:17 PM

    WHAT!?! HUH!?! DReww commeee backkk


    what a douche

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5:35 PM

    Drew, I've really enjoyed reading this blog throughout the season. I'll always remember this blog when I'm owning with you as quarterback in madden :)

    Thanks for all the laughs, and I'll keep a close eye on ya next season.

    Buffalo Bill

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous5:41 PM

    Drew, thanks for the hilarious read for the past 75 days. Enjoyed your Blog, Drew. Keep on blogging. Go SeaHawks and Go Cougs!

    -AA

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous5:44 PM

    He ends it with a plug, after all this time.

    Classy as always, Drew.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous5:55 PM

    Drew, you gotta stay with the Boys next year, they are definitely gonna need you. Homo was just a flash in the burger pan. Cover him with mayonnaise he is DONE.

    Please come back Drew

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous6:02 PM

    We both know how lucky you got with this blog. What if the Cowboys had won it all this year?

    Entertaining nonetheless.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous6:10 PM

    The blog lives on with the help of www.romosucks.com


    Nice job guys

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous6:26 PM

    This is a sad sad day. I hope to see you back next year so that I can laugh some more about burgers and homo. great job.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous6:36 PM

    man, i'm really going to miss reading this at work when i'm supposed to be working. maybe one day we can meet up and have some burgers together.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous6:40 PM

    So this entire blog was a ploy to get us to check out your sports blog? You're not really Drew Bledsoe?

    I feel used.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous6:53 PM

    im upset to see the blog end, but i wont miss you wearing a star on your helmet. happy trails drew enjoy the demise of your career

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous7:56 PM

    Dear Drew:

    I'm sorry to hear that you will no longer be posting.

    I cried like a man who had no burgers.

    Please do the world a favor and keep posting. If you get a columnist job, create a new website please. My suggestion is USATODAYHHOMO.com . Or something similar. You are the cadberry award winner, you figure it out.

    Thank you for the laughs, and best of luck getting back on the field: with Homo's performance, I bet you will have no problem.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous8:43 PM

    Drew - you are my hero. I know that you would have been able to handle that snap....in fact I think your filed goal holding is third best ever behind Danny White of the late 70's and Don Strock of the early 80's. That skill alone should get you to Canton. Have fun in Wyoming and don't forget to not pick up a football until August.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous8:45 PM

    Hey Drew, I know this was all about football and such but I need to know where all the good burger places are. I think you need to write a guide for us or me at least, you could use it so you don't forget, well I know you're busy and all, just trying to help out.

    ReplyDelete
  21. NOOOO! Drew come back!
    :(

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous9:39 PM

    I'm going to miss this blog. I think now that this blog ended, my life has no meaning.

    Keep eating burgers Bledsoe. Keep eating.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous9:57 PM

    Drew...you end the blog with never mentioning how you were an Oscar Award winning movie star in "Jerry Maguire?" I mean, come on, you were that movie. When it first came out I thought it was going to be named after you. Homo can only appear in cheap ass YouTube flicks while you had to make the difficult decision of choosing between pro football or becoming the next Marlon Brando. Maybe you can retire so they can remake every movie ever made with you in the lead.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous10:38 PM

    Drew I just found out I can leave a comment without siging up and you f'ing leave me now??? There has to be atleast 32 teams interested in you this offseason and atleast 370 burger joints. Good luck great one (like you need it).

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous10:44 PM

    Drew, I would really appreciate it if you would just continually alienate every quarterback ahead of you on the depth chart. It would really brighten up my life.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous10:52 PM

    absolute greatness

    ReplyDelete
  27. ill miss you my drew, ill miss you

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous12:12 AM

    My man will be back next year.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous12:14 AM

    Hey Drew, is your regridgerator running?


























    Well you better go catch it.


    That'll show him.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous6:19 AM

    Drew

    Thanks for the entertainment the past 75 days. I know we will see you next year. You just can't retire yet!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous6:28 AM

    Drew, thanks for the fun you put into being a diehard Cowboys hater. Reading this and watching Homo fail miserably was quite a treat.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Unfortunately, I only started reading the blog a few weeks ago, and it's over so fast...but you're right, Drew, how could the blog end any more perfectly?

    Here's to Homo starting next year (sorry, I'm an Eagles fan).

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous8:59 AM

    Loved your blog. It kept me going at work. I'm so sad to see it go but thanks for all the laughs.

    Jill
    Chicago, Illinois

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous9:23 AM

    This blog was great. Great idea and I loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  35. knock knock

    haha I got you lady that was a good one.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous11:49 AM

    Hey Drew, have fun with romo in the showers? Too bad ull be seperated next year :(

    ReplyDelete
  37. Thanks for the great blog, Drew. You still have more playoff wins since Al From Everett's own Tony Homo, Bill Parcells, did the sabotage trick on Bob Kraft after 1996 than Fat Tuna himself has - Fat Tuna's one post-playoff win was in 1998's divisional playoff, whereas you, Drew, beat up Miami in 1997 (bummer for the loss in Pittsburgh that season), then rescued Brady off the bench in Pittsburgh in 2001's Title Game (take that, Cowher!)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous1:06 PM

    Absolutely f-ing hilarious.

    Thanks for all the laughs, definitely made the day go by more quickly.

    Good thing we didn't annoit Romo just yet.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous1:23 PM

    Come back to New England. You might just beat me out...

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anonymous1:40 PM

    Dallas Cowgirl fans are the worst. When Romo first started everyone was acting like he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Now that he screwed up, he is the worst! I like Drew and I think he is a good QB, but with that offensive line( and I mean OFFENSIVE), Romo did you give the cowgirls the best chance to win. But what do expect with fans the jump on and off the bandwagon as many times as John Kerry votes for and against the war. You all have no backbone. I can't think of a better way for your season to end! I just hope Bill Parcells comes to his senses and gets the hell outta dodge. You all don't deserve him.

    ReplyDelete
  41. You are truly a piece of shit! How many games as a "VET" did you loose for us in the red zone? This kids a rookie and will be a better QB than you ever where (well anyone that is half ass mobile will be better than you ever were). Hall of Fame.......which team that dumped your ass will you retire under?

    At least Romo plays w/ some heart, unlike you, only concerned w/ whether your immobile ass is going to plowed and not trying to make a play for your teammates.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Anonymous2:58 PM

    much like tony romo, the cowboys are gay. Favre4EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR

    ReplyDelete
  43. Anonymous3:09 PM

    Are you people that incredibly stupid? Obviously this is not Drew Bledsoe's blog. This was written by a couple of guys named Amir and Ethan. So all of you people who are flipping out because this blog antagonizes Tony Romo, you are morons, because this is strictly fictious.

    ReplyDelete
  44. The Drew I knew and loved take care and good luck make sure you pick a good team to play for that knows how to block for a change,and have cool jerseys I am running out of room in my closet with all your different jerseys make the last one count bro.Always in your corner.
    P.S. if no-one can block for you the right way I will just call me : )

    ReplyDelete
  45. Anonymous3:13 PM

    Asking Cowboy fans "Are you people that incredibly stupid?" is like asking if the Pope is catholic. I mean c'mon, there is a reason why they people from the south are a bit slooowwww.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Anonymous3:38 PM

    This is the funniest thing I've read in many a year. The dialogs with Tuna were priceless (but you didn't comment on his man-boobs looking like burgers ... how disappointing).

    Maybe you attend the Pro-Bowl just to report on Our Hero so there's closure? I'm sure they'd let you down on the field.

    Here's hoping you start this up again when you get to Oakland ... er Detroit ... er ... Washington DC ... er ... Tampa?

    ReplyDelete
  47. Honestly, this blog has been a must-read since it started. Very nice work, gentleman. I mean, Drew.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Or gentlemen. Christ.

    Burgers forever!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Anonymous4:24 PM

    im glad we beat the cowboys, but this shit is so funny, i wish youd still post

    ReplyDelete
  50. Anonymous4:29 PM

    Thanks for the Memories, as that's all that's left.. What a Butter Finger hmmmm almost as good as a burger..

    ReplyDelete
  51. Anonymous4:39 PM

    Drew, they need you in Green Bay! After that wuss Favre calls it quits--and God please let him put us all out of his misery--they'll need a big strong hetero hero like you up there! And crap, wouldn't that chafe Homo's gay butt, if you play for his home-town, cheese-smelling team??!!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Drew! Please come back. I will tell the world why you left the pats; we didn’t have enough triple bacon cheese burgers to pay you. All these years we have been starting Brady because he has learned from you. You need to come back to bring the pats to greatness, not the joke of the league that we are now. Think of what you could bring this team to. People say or receivers are bad, but you could still throw for over 5,000,000 burgers in a game and 7 touch downs. We will fire all of our running backs and run 4-5 wide every play for you. This will give you maximum stat pumping time to play. We also will build a burger place faster that we change our grass to field turf. Just tell us what you need and we will sign you drew. drew I hate to see the next team you start for after you leave, look at your ex-backups, Brady(decent) JP Looserman (bad) and Homo(hall of shame creating worthy).

    Robert Kraft

    Ps 30,000 burger signing bonus.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Anonymous10:38 PM

    Goodbye Drew. I really enjoyed this blog and it helped me get through this roller coaster season as much as it did for you. I hope that you come back next season, either as a starter again, or blogging again. Either way I want you to come back

    ReplyDelete
  54. Anonymous11:10 PM

    Really excellent job. This is one of about five sites I religiously check and I fucking hate the Cowboys. I hope you can figure out a way to make money off this.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Anonymous11:29 PM

    With the passing of this blog, today is the saddest day in the history of the internet. No amount of burgers could satisfy my hunger the way these words could. So in tribute to the greatest blog ever written, I bought a Tony Romo jersey, size X-Tra Small, and gave it to my 10 year old sister. I then tackled her, causing her to fumble, and subsequently cry.

    That one was for you Drew.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Anonymous2:48 AM

    The legacy of "Drew Bledsoe" lives on as the legend of the Boys dies with HOMIE ROMO.

    Good night...good fight. Go Eagle!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Drew, please bring the site back next season.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Anonymous11:54 AM

    You guys don't get it...go to straightcashhomey.net This really wasn't Drew.....

    ReplyDelete
  59. I'll miss you, Drew. God bless and have some good and get some give!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Anonymous1:06 PM

    Interviewer - So Bill, why exactly did you leave Dallas to return home to the Giants?

    Parcells - Just leave me alone already will ya' ? Why ask something so stupid?

    Interviewer - Just tell us, was it Jerry? TO?

    Parcells - No. No.

    Interviewer - Wait a minute Bill. It was Romo, wasn't it? You couldn't deal with Tony Romo coming back next season?

    Parcells - Yeah. Tony fuckin' Homo. Hey fellas make sure you bleep that, alright?

    Interviewer - What's your first move now that you're running the Giants?

    Parcells - Sign Bledsoe.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Nothing made me more happy than watching Tony "PRO BOWL" Romo muff the snap and send the Cowgirls home to watch the Eagles win the Superbowl.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Anonymous4:35 PM

    Drew-Don't give up. There's a place for you in the CFL.

    A pats fan

    ReplyDelete
  63. Anonymous5:31 PM

    dangerous drew in jacksonville. sounds like a good combo to me.another good combo homo in a butterfingers comercial

    ReplyDelete
  64. Anonymous10:20 PM

    hey drew... u here homo tried to kill himself???.. ya he didnt.. cuz he couldnt hold onto the gun

    ReplyDelete
  65. Drew, I think you have one more thing to talk about. HOW COME YOU WEREN'T THE HOLDER? You are being paid $3 million a year to blog during the game? I saw you on the sidelines in uniform, why couldn't you go out there and hold the damn ball? You could've been a hero!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Anonymous12:29 AM

    Please come save me. Tony Homo is being a douche and crying like a little girl. I could use a dick in a box from a real man Drew!

    Carrie Underwood.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Anonymous6:30 AM

    Drew,

    What can I say, except that you're a bonafide GENIUS! And of course, I should know. When I was crafting the offensive and defensive schemes that won the Patriots 3 Super Bowls, who got the credit - moi? Negative. Genius is pain - we both know it!

    And now for the "Rest of the Story": It was absolutely brilliant of you to hand Homo that grease-dripping hamburger just before he went out to hold for the flubbed field goal attempt. You knew Homo wouldn't wipe the slippery burger grease all over his pretty white uniform! My only regret is that the TV cameras didn't pan over to you right after Homo's flub. It would have been priceless!

    From one Genius to another Drew, congrats on your awesome blog. It was creative, entertaining, and in my not-so-humble opinion, worthy of a Pullitzer Prize. Be sure to bring this blog back next season Mr. RDB, because like you, it's a true winner!!!

    Best,

    Man

    ReplyDelete
  68. Anonymous9:27 AM

    The QB of the future can learn from the past

    http://a564.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/26/l_f34d45724ae568bb5225d8e6c98f6d43.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  69. Anonymous10:06 AM

    I knew this site was fake since the beginning but I kept reading it since it was really funny. I don't care who wrote this but whoever you are, you made me have fun.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Anonymous11:16 AM

    Hey...we all hate the Cowboys anyway...so what's next Drew...The Vikings could use you for sure...so hold off on building that place in Branson just yet...

    ReplyDelete
  71. Anonymous11:50 AM

    All you lousy ingrates may as well know that I, the real Jay Mariotti am live blogging the Bears-Seahawks game this Sunday over HERE.
    I'm charging these pricks a fortune for my blogging services. I need the cash to pay for this goddamn angioplasty. And the little extra helps to cover the bills for my relocation to glorious Boise Idaho.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Anonymous12:14 PM

    Drew I'll be ordering a Double-Double in your honor this afternoon.
    Burgers!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Anonymous12:23 PM

    The worthless quaterback rides off into the sunset as a worthless blogger. Hope you enjoy retirement, becuase nobody wants a washed up qb. ROMO RULES!!!! Super Bowl champs next year baby!

    ReplyDelete
  74. Anonymous5:12 PM

    RomoSucks.com

    ReplyDelete
  75. Anonymous9:02 PM

    Drew, you are an alright guy. Speaking of plugs however, I would like to plug my man Mo Lewis for 0wning you and indirectly leading the Pats to 3 rings. Thanks Mo, oh yeah and thanks Drew I guess.


    - Mike from Boston

    ReplyDelete
  76. Don't worry about a job, Drew.
    The 'BOYS sure could use a holder on the special teams.

    You could get a part time gig teaching Grammatica to block.

    Otherwise, you are a better sports writer than 90% of the schlock shovelers out there. Happy landings.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I am the Drew Bledsoe of journalism.

    - Really Jay Mariotti

    ReplyDelete
  78. Anonymous5:43 PM

    I think TO should get a blog also would like to know what is in that messed up head of his.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Anonymous11:21 PM

    you better continue this blog next year.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Anonymous1:26 AM

    Thanks for the laughs, the love, and the hate...of Tony Romo. Oh, and appreciation of burgers.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Anonymous6:22 PM

    TonyHomo.com = Greatest Sports Blog Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Anonymous3:25 PM

    DREW!

    With the news of Jerry Jones saying you're probably not coming back next season, PLEASE keep us updated through the process of you trying to find another team to DOMINATE on.

    And please post burger recipes.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Anonymous8:44 PM

    Laura Said...
    Drew,
    Please don't retire just because of
    those miserable backstabbing team
    ates of yous on the Dallas Cowboys.
    You still have a lot to offer the
    N.F.L. Best Of Luck Drew! You are still my favorite quarterback!

    ReplyDelete
  84. oakland should treak u will Drew.

    ReplyDelete
  85. This blog has been awesome. Thanks for all the burger-luvin' posts

    ReplyDelete
  86. Anonymous9:48 PM

    Hey Drew ,Jp says Hi .see ya in black and silver.
    rudy the buffalo

    ReplyDelete
  87. Anonymous4:05 PM

    Awww come backkkkk

    ReplyDelete
  88. DREW!

    Parcells is retiring. There must be one logical explanation. Jones is changing his mind (after you made him some burgers, no doubt) about you and his organization and he's letting YOU clean house.

    Tell me this is true!

    ReplyDelete
  89. Anonymous4:18 PM

    Drew Bledsoe will be the next head coach of Dallas Cowboys.

    Fake Jerry

    ReplyDelete
  90. i love romo but i this blog is hella funny. i hope to see you back next year. looking forward to next seasons blog.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Anonymous7:19 PM

    I will miss ya Drew, always followed where you went Pats, Bills, Cowboys. Since I was a little girl you were always my favorite player. Hope where ever you go you give it your all.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Anonymous7:41 PM

    Hey what ever you do dont retire there wont be any reason to even watch football any more. Your one of the best quaterbacks ever and my favorite. Plus you were first round pick in 1993. If no one wants you well then thats there fault.

    Kim

    ReplyDelete
  93. amir, ethan...this was f*cking awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  94. dam dats fucked up but funny now jus make fun of donovan mcfagg lol

    ReplyDelete
  95. Anonymous10:38 PM

    Good for people to know.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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